“Why are weddings so expensive?!”
Welcome to Curate and Kind.
Before everyone yells at me in the comments yes, technically a wedding can absolutely be a courthouse, a church, tacos afterward, and home by 9 PM. That is a wedding. Everything beyond that becomes an intentional investment into experience. A welcome into a new family. A thanks to the people who helped you get here. A reunion of friends you haven’t seen in years and honestly? In today’s world, getting everyone you love under one roof for even one night feels increasingly rare and incredibly valuable.
Now let’s get into it.
The last time your friend came into town, they brought their partner with them. Naturally, you hosted.
Scenario A:
“The Night Out.”
Cocktails. Apps. Dinner. Maybe a show afterward. Then dancing. Then one espresso martini too many. What a great night. Congratulations collectively, everyone involved just spent an absolutely irresponsible amount of money for six hours of socialization. Flights weren’t free.
Someone took time off work. Somebody hired a dog sitter. Somebody paid luggage fees. Someone absolutely spent $47 on airport snacks for no reason. One could argue (and I will) that your friend group collectively spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars just to spend quality time together for one evening.
Now let’s do Scenario B:
“The Hosted Dinner.” You deep-cleaned the house like the CDC was coming over. You went to multiple stores.
Decorated the guest room. Did all the laundry. Cooked all day. Bought flowers to “warm the room up.” Maybe set up a little bar cart with everyone’s favorite drinks and somehow your kitchen still looks like a tornado hit it. You barely sat down with your guests because you were busy:
reheating food
lighting candles
worrying about the tablecloth
figuring out airport pickup logistics
wondering why your one sibling somehow owns nicer kitchenware than everyone else combined
You want to host well. You want everyone comfortable. You want things to feel beautiful. Now multiply all of that by 100. Add formal attire. Add logistics. Add weather. Add rentals, timelines, transportation, the first and possibly only professional photography youll ever have, add flowers that literally do not grow in this climate…...we all love gardenias okay!
Suddenly your wedding isn’t just “one day.” It’s a fully built temporary world. Your band needs power the venue doesn’t have.
It’s somehow 92 degrees in October and now everyone needs water, shade, fans, ice, and maybe AC units, Because you care deeply about whether 100 people are hydrated at all times, parenthood energy, honestly and your guests showed UP for you.
They traveled.
Took off work.
Bought gifts.
Paid for childcare.
Booked hotels.
This isn’t just a night out anymore. This is one of the only times in your life where every person you love intentionally gathers in one place at one time to celebrate you. Of course you want it to feel special and yes it’s also YOUR wedding day.
The professional hair and makeup. The outfit. The florals. The lighting. The silk linens you absolutely did not know existed six months ago. All intentionally chosen by you and your partner to create a feeling. That’s the key. You’re not just paying for “stuff.”
You’re creating atmosphere. Memory. Experience.
Now let’s talk vendors. You need people. People who work weekends. People who work wedding season. People who survive slow months to make peak season possible. Independent contractors, artists, drivers,
Servers, chefs, designers, florists, rental crews, planners, musicians, insurance, licensing, travel, workers comp,
GAS PRICES?! …..oh the humanity of gas mileage on a catering van uphill in the range!!
And somehow — SOMEHOW — these teams still pull off dinner for 100 people at exactly 6 PM from what is essentially a folding table hidden behind drapery and a rented propane burner. Like actual magic and most vendors do it with grace, professionalism, and a smile while operating under an unbelievable amount of pressure. This profession is not something most people randomly fall into. It’s learned through repetition. Through failure.
Through long nights. Through problem-solving. Through years of building trust and refining systems. We study this industry because we genuinely love it.
I PROMISE YOU no one is sitting in a dark room rubbing their hands together whispering “Add the wedding tax.”
There are simply:
delivery fees
staffing costs
setup labor
teardown labor
cleaning fees
transportation costs
storage
replacement inventory
payroll
permits
taxes
…and approximately 47 emails about chair placement.
Now, here’s the beautiful part. This industry is honestly kind of incredible when you think about it, because weddings CAN scale. You want Costco wine, a taco truck, and paper plates? Amazing. We love that. You want champagne greeting guests off a shuttle with live strings playing in the background while passed hors d'oeuvres circle cocktail hour? We love that too. There is no singular “right” wedding. This is about how you choose to show your love to your loved ones and its completely curated to your needs. Your priorities, your people, your investment level, and your vision
—Quick shout out to The Vendor Table! you nailed it!—
Your grandma’s Lincoln is free. It’s just got issues but she will give it to you. All 250k miles with it. A Camry works great. A BMW is lovely. A Ferrari is beautiful. They all drive. This industry works the same way. The important part is understanding your actual comfort level financially and emotionally.
Sit down (again) with your partner and decide:
what matters most
what you actually care about
where you’re flexible
what experience you want people to walk away remembering
That clarity narrows the well immediately and honestly?
That’s where planners become incredibly helpful.
You tell us the numbers where your priorities are, the atmosphere you want on that roof top, the vibe and we narrow the well for you. That’s our actual superpower. Who’s reliable? Who’s flexible? This vendor needs six months notice. That one has some hidden fees. What staff agency thrives in mountain weather? What vendor works beautifully under pressure?
We want to connect you with people who serve your guests the way you want your guests to feel served and at the end of the day we are not one person. We are an industry of thousands of people working together to make your day feel meaningful.
Warm.
Curated.
And completely present.
Thanks for joining HK. Next time on Curated and Kind “How do I pick my vendors?”
— HK Events LLP / Homegrown Kindness
