“Where do I even start?!”

“Where Do I Even Start?”

Agggghhhhh!! Okay. That’s out of the way…

Congratulations!!

The well is vast and full of terrors. Pinterest is showing you multi-hundred-thousand-dollar weddings with titles like “DIY Your Installation”… Don’t do that. Your family has so many opinions, and honestly? Most of them are valid. You want to honor them in a way that also serves you and your partner. Then there’s the numbers… Let’s not pull out pie charts just yet, okay? You don’t know any vendors or where to even find them. The wedding industry exists in a bubble, and social media is only going to show you the biggest, trendiest, most popular vendors in your area first and The Knot? There are way too many options. Half the time they aren’t even what you’re looking for.

We get it.

We got you.

Sit down.

No really. With your partner, sit down once a week for at least an hour and dedicate intentional time to this process.

This is a huge investment and one of the biggest days of your life.

Everything in you is going to say:

“Let’s look at venues.”
“Pick a date.”
“Send invites.”
“Go go go!”

Hang on.

Hold up.

Before you figure out what you do like, you need to figure out what you don’t like together as a couple. Narrowing the scope is the name of the game in the beginning. Destination wedding? Hotel buyout? Tent wedding on family property? High-top tables on a downtown rooftop?

What actually feels in line with you as a couple….

Intimate.
Cinematic.
Relaxed.
Elegant.
Guest-focused.
Party-heavy.
Design-heavy.

This will set your overall tone.

Now let’s talk guest count. Make the list together or separately, if that’s easier, then combine. We highly recommend a Google Doc since it can later convert into a CSV for your catering team. Very cool. Having a rough number in mind will naturally narrow your venue options down immediately. Mountain weddings are stunning, but if you need a ballroom, you’ll likely need to book much further in advance. Your venue casually determines so many other decisions too. Even your timeline starts with your venue. If there’s a patio for cocktail hour, maybe January isn’t ideal. If there’s a riverside ceremony location, spring might feel magical. If you fall in love with a rooftop venue in a ski town, but they don’t book during your ideal month. Maybe you want muti venues over the weekend. Great….oh the roads are icy…..?

Not so great.

Now here’s a HUGE one. Inclusive venues vs. blank slate venues. Both have strengths. Both have hidden costs. Bringing in your own vendors can be a massive selling point. Maybe you have a baker in the family. Maybe your sister is a florist. Maybe you’re obsessed with HK planners and don’t want a venue-provided coordinator.

(We support that.)

Having your ideal venue, an overall feeling for your wedding and a general guest count in mind will make the next decisions feel so much easier.

Now let’s talk investment. A little over budget. A little under. Maybe a surprise contribution from a relative. However you choose to spend your investment is entirely your business. What matters most is spending intentionally. Your priorities should shape your percentages — not trends.

“I don’t care about live music.”
Amazing. Let’s get a DJ and call it a day.

“Photography isn’t my biggest priority.”
Cool. Let’s look at one shooter for partial coverage and see where your evening takes you.

Maybe flexibility matters most to you. You love a vendors work but dont need thier largest package. Most vendors would rather adjust the package than lose your business.
That affects vendor choices too.

YOUR WEDDING DOES NOT NEED TO END UP IN BRIDES MAGAZINE TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

Think about the last time your entire family was together. Maybe your brother couldn’t make it because of work. Maybe you moved away and only see everyone during holidays now. Maybe your partner’s family has never even met most of yours. Think about the heirlooms sitting on your childhood mantle. The old photos hidden in your grandparents’ attic. This is where those moments are made. This is where memories are created. Not just for you, but for every single person you love.

A few things to remember, you are in your planning era. This does not have to become a full-time job.

Honestly? It shouldn’t. This season is supposed to feel exciting. Like an excuse for date nights. “Let’s book that tasting this week.” “Let’s visit the florist and take a centerpiece class.” “Let’s go pick up cake samples from that bakery out on the range.”

Or honestly?

“Let’s stay home, watch romance movies, and take notes about how they make us feel.”

Because eventually, everyone you care about will gather together in one room to celebrate you. So plan something they’ll love.

Plan something that feels like you.

Planning becomes much easier once you stop trying to create the “perfect” wedding and start creating one that feels personal.

Warm, curated, and designed to allow you to be completely present.

Join us next month for Episode 3 of Curated and Kind. Where we answer a question we MIGHT be bias about.

“Do I even need a planner?”

— HK Events LLP / Homegrown Kindness